Little Bastards.

So New Orleans introduced me to a whole new set of flora and fauna, what with its tropical climate and swamps and bayous and such. In California our stinging, poisonous, or otherwise harmful wildlife is fairly limited. Everyone knows that a raccoon is not a kitty, and that rattle snakes are bad. Most things that ARE bad are either obviously such, or well outside of most neighborhoods. For the most part bugs, reptiles, etc. are relatively harmless. I say relatively because there are a few exceptions.

HOWEVER! One thing I believe is 99.9% true... and that is, caterpillars are okay. Caterpillars are warm, fuzzy, benevolent creatures that are to be handled gently and with respect. According to some, they might be blue and smoke pipes. Nobody knows how many legs they have. When I think caterpillar, I think this:


Well they don't look like that here in New Orleans and they certainly are not warm and fuzzy. My landlord warned me that one day, I'd start seeing black fuzzy caterpillars outside or on the house. "Don't touch them" she warned me. "In fact, don't touch any bugs in New Orleans" she added.

"Well, fine..." I told myself. Whatever. It's not like I compulsively handle bugs or anything.

So eventually I did see them. I saw one on the fence. Then I saw a bunch in the trees (think hundreds), and then I saw them on the porch, and then I saw them inside. Boy did I underestimate these little mother fuckers. I VERY VERY foolishly was walking around on my porch barefoot not long ago and of course I managed to step on one. Honestly? It wasn't too bad. I got a few swollen spots on my foot and it stung like a paper cut for about a half hour. I somehow got lucky because I'm told that the stings can be pretty nasty, and I even heard of one hospital trip. YIKES!

So if you haven't seen them you're probably wonder what these evil little shitheads look like.



Frightening, isn't it?

Today, despite their numbers declining rapidly the last few days, I found a huge one on the dog's bed. Shame on me for leaving my own porch door open. And what does Darwin do when faced with a new and interesting item? He licks it, of course.

... and nothing happened. Hmm.

So what do you DO about them?!?! Well you can have your oak tree sprayed (did I mention they only seem to like oaks) for several hundred bucks, or you can try and ignore them for the few weeks they are around. The choice method of disposal seems to be to to squish them, but given their size, that grosses me out entirely. So me? I pick them up with a leaf and chuck them into the neighbor's yard, like the good person that I am.

The bad caterpillar season is coming to a close for the year. Finally.