New Orleans is home to several species that, until now, were pretty much just mythical creatures in my coastal Californian mind. I have OFFICIALLY decided to make it a point to see each and every one of these creatures before I leave.

Exhibit A: a firefly. No I have never seen a firefly. And yes, I know that is just plain sad. There are no fireflies to be found anywhere in California as far as I'm aware, and certainly not along the coast. A glowing bug will surely blow my mind and I could not be more excited to hunt one down.



Exhibit B: an armadillo. Seriously, wtf is this thing? They are ridiculous.





Exhibit C: a nutria rat. Also known as, a beaver sort of thing without a beaver tail. Less exciting than Exhibits A and B, but still somewhat exciting.

Holy crap.

So I made a previous post about the evil little bastards crawling around outside. And I bet "ya'll" think I'm crazy and/or paranoid.

Am I? Am I really?!?

One night last week I was innocently getting into bed as I do every night, and something very disturbing caught my eye:


Oh... what, you don't see it? Well take a closer look:



TWO FEET FROM MY FREAKIN' FACE! Omfg. I was convinced they are coming to get me while I sleep, while I'm at my most vulnerable.

I'll say it again: OMFG. O. M. F. G.

In case you need reminding: these things sting the hell out of you if you even gently touch them. They are horrifying little creatures and I had a lot of trouble sleeping that night. I checked in and under the bed but could not prevent a case of the severe heebie jeebies.

Benne Cookies

My grandmother on my mom's side is originally from Charleston, South Carolina. AKA, the deep South. She used to make these strange but awesome cookies called "benne cookies." One year as a gift to me she put together a recipe box, including some old family recipes inside, and this was one of them. After some debate I decided that sharing the recipe was okay. I decided not to be selfish.

A little background: the cookies are made with "benne seeds" which is apparently the African "slave term" for sesame seed (I told you it was the deep South). But to the rest of us, they are sesame seeds. For this purpose however, they are benne (ben-eee) seeds, and therefore, benne cookies (they're really more of a wafer, but I didn't write the recipe).

I know you're probably thinking "eww, sesame cookies, gross." They're actually pretty damn good and not too sesame-like as you might expect. They're sweet, because they are a cookie. Otherwise they'd be a cracker... duh.

Give them a try and if you don't like them feed them to the dog. Story of my life.

Benne Cookies

1 stick butter (melted)
1 c. sugar
1 egg
1/2 c. flour
3/4 c. sesame seeds
1/4 tsp baking powder
1 tsp vanilla

1. Preheat the oven to 350 F. Toast the sesame seeds: spread them out on a cookie sheet and roast for about 10 mins. Set toasted seeds aside, in a bowl.

2. Mix all the cookie ingredients in a medium bowl, and drop by teaspoon fulls onto an aluminum-lined cookie sheet.

3. Bake at 350 F, approximately 10 mins. Cookies should be lightly browned (refer to photo)... not white in the centers, but not too dark either. Check the cookies at 5 mins. If the cookies have puffed up, give the tray a whack with a knife or spoon. This will cause the cookies to collapse. This batch did not rise for me, but has in the past. The cookies are supposed to rise but don't panic if they don't.

Personally I don't know why a recipe calls for baking powder (a leavener) if the instructions specify that you collapse the cookies... but like I said. I didn't write the recipe, and old family recipes are not to be tampered with.

Yield: about 2-3 dozen, I can't remember.

Little Bastards.

So New Orleans introduced me to a whole new set of flora and fauna, what with its tropical climate and swamps and bayous and such. In California our stinging, poisonous, or otherwise harmful wildlife is fairly limited. Everyone knows that a raccoon is not a kitty, and that rattle snakes are bad. Most things that ARE bad are either obviously such, or well outside of most neighborhoods. For the most part bugs, reptiles, etc. are relatively harmless. I say relatively because there are a few exceptions.

HOWEVER! One thing I believe is 99.9% true... and that is, caterpillars are okay. Caterpillars are warm, fuzzy, benevolent creatures that are to be handled gently and with respect. According to some, they might be blue and smoke pipes. Nobody knows how many legs they have. When I think caterpillar, I think this:


Well they don't look like that here in New Orleans and they certainly are not warm and fuzzy. My landlord warned me that one day, I'd start seeing black fuzzy caterpillars outside or on the house. "Don't touch them" she warned me. "In fact, don't touch any bugs in New Orleans" she added.

"Well, fine..." I told myself. Whatever. It's not like I compulsively handle bugs or anything.

So eventually I did see them. I saw one on the fence. Then I saw a bunch in the trees (think hundreds), and then I saw them on the porch, and then I saw them inside. Boy did I underestimate these little mother fuckers. I VERY VERY foolishly was walking around on my porch barefoot not long ago and of course I managed to step on one. Honestly? It wasn't too bad. I got a few swollen spots on my foot and it stung like a paper cut for about a half hour. I somehow got lucky because I'm told that the stings can be pretty nasty, and I even heard of one hospital trip. YIKES!

So if you haven't seen them you're probably wonder what these evil little shitheads look like.



Frightening, isn't it?

Today, despite their numbers declining rapidly the last few days, I found a huge one on the dog's bed. Shame on me for leaving my own porch door open. And what does Darwin do when faced with a new and interesting item? He licks it, of course.

... and nothing happened. Hmm.

So what do you DO about them?!?! Well you can have your oak tree sprayed (did I mention they only seem to like oaks) for several hundred bucks, or you can try and ignore them for the few weeks they are around. The choice method of disposal seems to be to to squish them, but given their size, that grosses me out entirely. So me? I pick them up with a leaf and chuck them into the neighbor's yard, like the good person that I am.

The bad caterpillar season is coming to a close for the year. Finally.