"Fucking Perfect" Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies

A bold title, I know. After writing, editing, and finally baking this recipe, I asked my roommate Dale what he thought of them. Before he responded, I said that I thought they were alright. Not as good as I was hoping. His response was, "what are you talking about? These are fucking perfect." Hence the title. These cookies are some strange hybrid of oatmeal and chocolate chip cookies. They don't contain enough oatmeal to be considered oatmeal cookies, and they don't contain enough flour to be considered chocolate chip cookies. But you know what? I like oats. Okay? I like to add oats to cookies for no good reason, and I don't think that makes me a bad person.

For people who are not accustomed to baking, cookies are a good way to start. They are usually simple to make and, unless you're an idiot, they're hard to screw up too much. And if you just so happen to be an idiot and one batch doesn't turn out very good, chances are (depending on your own personal level of idiocy) you can modify the dough so that the second batch turns out a little better.

As I was concocting this recipe, I came upon what I presumed to be my end result. "They don't look that amazing" was my thought. I tasted the batter, and again thought "it doesn't taste THAT amazing." Before I knew it, my stand mixer attachment was bone dry. This brings me to an important cookie baking tip, if any of you should be so bold as to come up with your own recipes or simply modify existing ones: if the batter is delicious before you bake it, it will also be delicious after you bake it. Simple, right?

I think what made the batter so delicious in this case were my not-so-secret favorite cookie ingredients: cream, honey, and cinnamon. I guess if you didn't have any, you could omit the honey. But what kind of self respecting person doesn't keep honey in the house, I ask you?

So! Having said all that, behold:

"Fucking Perfect" Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies

1 c. butter; softened
1 c. light brown sugar
1/2 c. white sugar
2 eggs
2 tsp vanilla
1 tsp salt
3 tbsp honey
3 tbsp whipping cream
1.5 tsp cinnamon
2 c. flour
2 c. oats
1/2 tsp baking powder
1 bag semisweet chocolate chips

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

Mix together the butter, sugars, eggs, vanilla, salt, honey, whipping cream, and cinnamon in a large bowl. In another bowl, mix together the flour, oats, and baking powder. Incorporate the dry ingredients into the wet ingredients and mix until combined.

Place spoonfuls of dough about 3 inches apart on a greased baking sheet, and bake for approximately 20 mins or until the cookies are browning around the edges.

Yields: about 4 dozen cookies